Mum has slept a lot for the last few days. I brought her present and card into her yesterday and she thought it was for Mother's Day. She is completely unaware of the day or time or day it is.
This morning she asked when Christmas Day was and I told her it was yesterday. She said she didn't know what day it was so she does know that she can't remember very much - not short term anyway. She long term memory seems to be OK.
Mum woke me up again at 4am wanting me to find her slippers. She also wanted tea but I was too exhausted to make any for her and went back to sleep. It is very difficult not being able to get a full night's sleep. Mum has gone off to sleep again. I will try to clean her room today and give her a wash.
Monday 26 December 2011
Thursday 22 December 2011
Thursday Morning
Mum hasn't been feeling too well for the past couple of days. Woke up at 3am wanting pills. She still hasn't had her bath. She's asleep again now. She has slept an awful lot recently. We bought an artificial Christmas tree yesterday and will put it up later today - I thought in the hall upstairs so she can see it from her room.
Tuesday 20 December 2011
Tuesday Morning
Gave mum her cup of hot chocolate and pills at around 11pm. She called for more hot chocolate after midnight but I was too exhausted to go down and make her any. She woke me again at 4am wanting tablets. I couldn't give her any for another hour and she'd gone back to sleep by then. She didn't wake up until 10.30 when I gave her some tablets and a cup of tea. By the time I got back with the tea she'd gone back to sleep. When she wakes up again she'll ask for more tea telling me that her tea has gone "stone cold".
Monday 19 December 2011
Monday Evening
Not a bad day at all. Mum ate a little for supper. She didn't have her bath. We'll try again tomorrow. She was complaining a little bit about feeling really unwell. The trouble is she can hardly walk and she doesn't like that. I tell her that at 86 she can expect for things to go wrong sometimes and she can't expect to run about as she did when she was younger. It is sad to see her shuffling and struggling to get from her bedroom to the bathroom. I made sure that she had the bedroom right next to the bathroom so it is almost as good as being ensuite.
One of the problems is that she went to bed almost 30 years ago when there was nothing wrong with her claiming to be desperately ill and wanting everyone to run around after her. She even had a stick which she would bang on the ceiling to get attention. She's spent so much time in bed that her muscles don't work very well because she hasn't used them for so long. She's a huge contrast to my father who used to exercise every day and didn't want anyone to do anything for him. She doesn't find it ironic that he has passed away and she's still here over two years later after years and years of him running around looking after her.
There is a lot I need to add about my father's last few months and how both my parents have been failed by the Social Services/National Health Service etc. This is, of course, quite common with older people. Every so often there is an outcry in a newspaper or on the TV and people pay lip service to it but nobody does anything. They don't seem to realise that everybody is going to get old (unless they pass away sooner of course) and that the vast majority of the population will need help when they get older. Not everyone will be in a position to care for their parents so they end up at the mercy of the services provided by the State - many of which are very poor and an absolute disgrace.
One of the problems is that she went to bed almost 30 years ago when there was nothing wrong with her claiming to be desperately ill and wanting everyone to run around after her. She even had a stick which she would bang on the ceiling to get attention. She's spent so much time in bed that her muscles don't work very well because she hasn't used them for so long. She's a huge contrast to my father who used to exercise every day and didn't want anyone to do anything for him. She doesn't find it ironic that he has passed away and she's still here over two years later after years and years of him running around looking after her.
There is a lot I need to add about my father's last few months and how both my parents have been failed by the Social Services/National Health Service etc. This is, of course, quite common with older people. Every so often there is an outcry in a newspaper or on the TV and people pay lip service to it but nobody does anything. They don't seem to realise that everybody is going to get old (unless they pass away sooner of course) and that the vast majority of the population will need help when they get older. Not everyone will be in a position to care for their parents so they end up at the mercy of the services provided by the State - many of which are very poor and an absolute disgrace.
Monday Afternoon
Mum wanted a cup of hot chocolate at 2am. I gave her some painkillers at the same time. She woke again at 6am wanting more tablets. I couldn't give her any as you have to wait six hours between each dose of medication. She went off to sleep again and woke up at 9.30 when I was able to give her some more tablets. She's in a good mood today and keeps on saying how lovely the Christmas lighted village is. She says she wants a bath today - it will be great if it actually happens.
Sunday 18 December 2011
Late Sunday Evening
Mum had a good day today. She ate an evening meal of sausages, peas and cabbage, had a desert of a small trifle and an ice cream later on. She seems happy today. She really likes the Christmas lighted village and decided to watch TV this evening which she hasn't done for quite a long time. Not too many complaints about not feeling well either which is good.
Early Sunday Evening
Mum seems a bit brighter today. She has had cake and crisps and some biscuits. She hasn't eaten properly for months. When she was in the home they just left her to it - one of the staff in the kitchen used to try to encourage her to eat but it didn't have much effect and towards the end of her stay there she was losing an awful lot of weight. We have found a really good milk drink called Nurishment which she likes and which is full of vitamins and protein. It's a good substitute for a balanced meal and she has stopped losing weight. She does eat a little sometimes apart from sweet things. She will eat yoghurts and bananas and sometimes fish and chips and some chicken and also sausages but nothing else much.
I put a nice Christmas village light in her room which plays Christmas songs. She really likes it. She started rambling a little bit talking about a small table which was in her home in Ireland which she had noticed in the corner and I should put the Christmas light on it. It isn't there of course. We managed to change the bed which is a bit of a performance. We have to wait until she goes into the bathroom and then whip all the clothes off the bed. I also managed to give her a bit of a wash yesterday which is another performance as she has taken a real dislike to soap and water. I have to run at her with a flannel full of soap and water to get her to have anything resembling a wash. She does go along with it once I've started but it's a struggle. I bought some bed bath cloths from Ebay and tried to wash her in bed with them. She objected they were cold and she could have a wash at the sink.
She's still complaining she's not feeling well and is feeling dizzy - she also knows that she forgets things which upsets her. She is a lot better today though - at the moment anyway.
I put a nice Christmas village light in her room which plays Christmas songs. She really likes it. She started rambling a little bit talking about a small table which was in her home in Ireland which she had noticed in the corner and I should put the Christmas light on it. It isn't there of course. We managed to change the bed which is a bit of a performance. We have to wait until she goes into the bathroom and then whip all the clothes off the bed. I also managed to give her a bit of a wash yesterday which is another performance as she has taken a real dislike to soap and water. I have to run at her with a flannel full of soap and water to get her to have anything resembling a wash. She does go along with it once I've started but it's a struggle. I bought some bed bath cloths from Ebay and tried to wash her in bed with them. She objected they were cold and she could have a wash at the sink.
She's still complaining she's not feeling well and is feeling dizzy - she also knows that she forgets things which upsets her. She is a lot better today though - at the moment anyway.
Saturday 17 December 2011
Early Sunday Morning
Slept until 6am when we were awoken by mum calling for tablets. She wants a doctor again. She has pains in her legs. The doctor did refer her to the hospital but when it came to the day of the appointment she refused to go saying she was too ill. This happened three times. The trouble is she refuses to get out of bed. Shortly after we gave her the painkillers she was asking when she had her tablets last. Mum has vascular dementia which means she has severe short term memory loss - she is unlikely to forget who I am and has retained her long term memory so at least she has something there. She won't be completely overwhelmed by the dementia.
Staggered out in the snow with mum's dog. I've had to look after the dog since dad died just over two years ago. Mum isn't up to it although she doesn't seem to realise she can't manage.
Staggered out in the snow with mum's dog. I've had to look after the dog since dad died just over two years ago. Mum isn't up to it although she doesn't seem to realise she can't manage.
Some Background
As a bit of background, my mum was in a Nursing Home for about 15 months. She managed to fracture her hip and her GP - not the one she has now - insisted there was nothing wrong with her. I had called Social Services begging for help and he called them after he had seen her telling them she was being stubborn and could stand if she wanted to. This was on a Monday. On the previous day my mum had called for an ambulance. They called me to tell me that there was nothing wrong with her. The problem was that she had called them so often before that they didn't take her seriously. They even rang me (I didn't live with her then) to tell me the problem was that she did not have anyone to socialise with.
Anyhow three days later on the Wednesday we at last got her to hospital where they took an X-ray and found she had a multiple fracture of the hip. She needed a hip replacement which they did very quickly. While she was in hospital they noticed her very erratic behaviour (I had told her GP previously about it and also Social Services and asked for help but all they would say was that unless she agreed they couldn't do a psychiatric assessment). They couldn't continue to ignore it though while she was in hospital as she was throwing things at the nurses!!!!
Mum was diagnosed with dementia and I was put under enormous pressure by Social Services and a nurse from the Primary Care Trust to agree to her going into a Nursing Home. I was told that I would be alone if I tried to look after her myself and could expect no support. I did agree in the end as I knew it would be impossible to care for her on my own. I did find a home - there were not that many to choose from - and she was admitted from hospital. That's another story though. I have now taken her out of the Nursing Home and am caring for her myself. Or trying to anyway.
Anyhow three days later on the Wednesday we at last got her to hospital where they took an X-ray and found she had a multiple fracture of the hip. She needed a hip replacement which they did very quickly. While she was in hospital they noticed her very erratic behaviour (I had told her GP previously about it and also Social Services and asked for help but all they would say was that unless she agreed they couldn't do a psychiatric assessment). They couldn't continue to ignore it though while she was in hospital as she was throwing things at the nurses!!!!
Mum was diagnosed with dementia and I was put under enormous pressure by Social Services and a nurse from the Primary Care Trust to agree to her going into a Nursing Home. I was told that I would be alone if I tried to look after her myself and could expect no support. I did agree in the end as I knew it would be impossible to care for her on my own. I did find a home - there were not that many to choose from - and she was admitted from hospital. That's another story though. I have now taken her out of the Nursing Home and am caring for her myself. Or trying to anyway.
Saturday Evening
Mum has slept most of the day. She does say she is feeling "very bad" and wants to go to hospital. She says this every day several times a day. A couple of weeks ago I did ring for an ambulance. She was lying in bed moaning that she wanted to die and I didn't know what to do. I have asked her doctor to attend but he doesn't want to know. You can't call for a doctor at a weekend as all you get is a recorded message saying the surgery is closed and as she was feeling so unwell on a Saturday (which was also her 86th birthday) I called for an ambulance.
At the hospital they were very good. They did loads a tests and said that there was nothing very serious which would cause her to be admitted. At the end she wanted to come home anyway. The doctor in Casualty said he would write to the GP and ask him to visit her as there were a couple of things that should be attended to. He advised me to call the surgery on Monday. I called the surgery several times and ten days later they said they still hadn't got the results from the hospital so I called the hospital. They said it should all have gone through on the computer and the doctor at the hospital said he would call the surgery.
Still nothing from mum's GP. They were also supposed to arrange for a nurse to call to give her a flu injections. Nothing of course. I need to call at the surgery on Monday to pick up mum's prescription so will tackle them about the doctor's visit and the flu jab then. Don't suppose it will do much good - I'm looking to change her doctor to someone who is a bit more understanding.
Mum woke us up at 3am saying she was feeling ill. She does this all the time - if we get a full night's sleep it's unusual. Hope we get a bit more sleep tonight.
At the hospital they were very good. They did loads a tests and said that there was nothing very serious which would cause her to be admitted. At the end she wanted to come home anyway. The doctor in Casualty said he would write to the GP and ask him to visit her as there were a couple of things that should be attended to. He advised me to call the surgery on Monday. I called the surgery several times and ten days later they said they still hadn't got the results from the hospital so I called the hospital. They said it should all have gone through on the computer and the doctor at the hospital said he would call the surgery.
Still nothing from mum's GP. They were also supposed to arrange for a nurse to call to give her a flu injections. Nothing of course. I need to call at the surgery on Monday to pick up mum's prescription so will tackle them about the doctor's visit and the flu jab then. Don't suppose it will do much good - I'm looking to change her doctor to someone who is a bit more understanding.
Mum woke us up at 3am saying she was feeling ill. She does this all the time - if we get a full night's sleep it's unusual. Hope we get a bit more sleep tonight.
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